Roin Hesselgesser

What To Do When It Feels Too Big

By Robin Hesselgesser There are times when a problem seems too big for us to solve. The problem is “not getting a project turned in on time” or an argument with a spouse about “who is going to do what and with whom”. It’s big. It’s the problem that steals your heart and compromises your […]

By Robin Hesselgesser

Roin HesselgesserThere are times when a problem seems too big for us to solve. The problem is “not getting a project turned in on time” or an argument with a spouse about “who is going to do what and with whom”. It’s big. It’s the problem that steals your heart and compromises your soul. It’s the one that makes you question what you thought you knew to be true and what you took for granted. It makes you question who you are and who you will be. It’s the thing that happens on a typical Wednesday that you don’t see coming. There is no warning; no flashing lights but it comes with a vengeance without an invitation and it finds you. It swoops in, taps you on the shoulder, blinds the senses, and kidnaps your spirit

We spend countless hours trying to avoid problems. We waste time worrying about things that never transpire. However, there are those things that do happen and we find ourselves ineptly prepared for its impact. It seems too big for a solution and we vacillate between getting swept up in it and wanting to ignore it. But it won’t go away and we are forced to feel its weight in the middle of the night when it’s quiet, dark, and forbidding; when we are most vulnerable.

Not so long ago I experienced such a problem. It felt like I was circling a drain. It was murky and scary and I felt completely out of control. I couldn’t see a way out. The tether had snapped and there was nothing and no one to hold onto. I felt completely alone and desperation was starting to make itself comfortable.

I believe there are lessons that we are supposed to learn as we navigate through life and one of mine is learning to know the difference between that which I can and cannot control. I have difficulty relinquishing control. I am a problem solver; it’s what I do. So giving up or giving in was not an option or at least that’s how I looked at it. I was wrong. I needed to look at it differently. I needed to see myself, as well as my problem, in the light of day: with some perspective. I needed to accept what my limitations were and accept when I had done what I was capable of.

So I got down on my knees and I said a prayer. Actually I cried a prayer. I left my ego locked in a closet. I was open, honest and I spoke from my heart. I didn’t give up; I relinquished and that line is very definitive. I gave up control and I gave in to faith. I made a decision, which is a step in solving a problem in and of itself. I made a commitment to God that I would stay in faith and that I would trust that the solution…his solution was in progress. The right thing would happen in the right way at the right time.

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That same night, less than two hours after I relinquished, my phone rang. It was late and I didn’t recognize the phone number so I didn’t answer. I figured if it was important they would leave a voice mail. It was close to 10:00 p.m., and the lesson that I was taught growing up “not to phone anyone past 9:00p.m’, flashed through my mind. However, my voice mail indicator spoke to me; I listened to the voice mail and it was someone who potentially had a solution to my problem. As I considered whether or not to call him back, I could literally hear God’s voice in my ear telling me that He wanted to slap me upside the head. The answer; the solution had knocked on my door and all I had to do was answer it. What was I thinking? Why did I doubt? What was I afraid of? So I called the gentleman back and indeed he was the solution. God not only made the situation whole but added to it. I was embodied in feelings of grace and gratitude that I had never experienced before.

What I learned is that there are problems that we will experience and some of them will overwhelm. But we need to ask for the solution and have faith in its arrival. If you and I go to a restaurant and we order dinner, we assume certain things. We don’t ask the server to come to our table after a few minutes and ask if he really turned in our order. We don’t feel the need to go back into the kitchen to see if someone is really preparing it. If we order chicken, we don’t assume we are going to get tilapia. We put our order in and we let it go. We go on about talking about what we did yesterday or what we will do tomorrow and we wait. Patiently and silently we wait but we anticipate and we expect. Such is the same when we put a request into God. It would be disrespectful to question whether the solution is on its way.

When the problem seems to big, pray. Relinquish the problem and place it in God’s hands. Follow your instincts because those are how he communicates with you. If you get a feeling, listen to it. If you get a phone call, answer it and when the solution presents itself accept it. Anticipate the solution and have faith that the timing is perfect. God’s timing is perfect and you are worthy of his solution.

 

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Robin is committed to addressing and solving the issues that keep women from getting where they want to go. You can learn more about her research and her upcoming engagements as well as receive free newsletters packed with the latest in building confidence, succeeding in relationships, sex, career, fashion and design by visiting www.robinhesselgesser.com